Why adults date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Affairs can be fraught with problems, cause sorrow, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, funds, age difference, faith education, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married woman.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mainly though it is only the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your family or anybody else? You will need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, huge really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is gone, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.